This has been hard...to write I mean. I've been feeling invalidated...by whites and also by people of color. By people either telling me that what I see is in my head, or invalidating my experiences by homogenizing it as experiences of all people of color. I lost my voice, even forgot what it once sounded like.
So for months I've sat here looking at this blog, trying to write something worthwhile and felt I had nothing to contribute. Then today I woke up and felt something radiate inside me...ANGER. My inner voice wanting to say nothing more than FUCK YOU to those voices I've internalized over a life time. I am what I am and I do not need you to define me, solve me or tell me how to be. And if I contradict myself, so be it... it is inevitable! I will no longer live in fear!
So, this is want I have to contribute at this moment... the mess, sadness, anger, loneliness, frustration and the powerlessness I feel. I refuse to hide it away like some sorry secret. This is how the world I live in has written me at the moment and this is as real as it gets.
- theothergrlnxtdoor
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thank you for sharing & posting---your post reminded me of this quote: "the processes and conditions that secure a subject’s subordination are also the means by which she becomes a self-conscious identity and agent"--saba mahmood
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